I wish I could punch you in the face.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
