Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
