I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
