Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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