After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
