What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
