So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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