She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
