I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
