You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
