My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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