OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
