I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
