I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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