If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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