i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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