I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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