i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
