idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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