I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The power of my boobs compel you
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
