this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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