I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
