Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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