toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Come share oat with me in your robe
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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