Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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