And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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