Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
