She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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