just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
