my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
