i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
