how can u be prego again
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
