Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
