Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
