What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
