this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I got inside last night via doggy door
A+ Viking dick
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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