the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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