Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
