dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
