I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
