so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
