my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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