you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
