Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
