is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
