she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
