Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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