She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
