Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
