I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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